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THE PIG PAPER
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A Pigsclusive mail-interview with MIKE
bassist with up-coming L.A. skate-punk combo NO F-X:
First of all, why the name NO F-X as opposed to, say, NO FUN, NO SMOKING,
SPECIAL F-X, .or TFX-1138?
Well, I was opposed to the name NO F-X. I thought it was dumb, but (drummist)
Eric convinced me„ I wanted the name TFX-1138; it made alot more sense to me.
And how did you come to sign with Mystic Records as opposed to, say. Polygram
or, better still. Rhino?
We signed with Mystic coz it's free and there's no hassles.
You recently toured Nevada, Oregon and Idaho, What was your favourite town
along the tour, and why?
Portland, Oregon, because the people there were soooo cool. But Reno had the
best scene. Even the girls slam in Reno!
Will your current nationwide swing include a return date in Idaho? And if so
Yeah, we're going back to Boise. The punx there are cool, and there's a rad
skate ramp. Plus... it's only seven hours away from Portland!
Now, on the more personal side, what is your favourite singer or group?
Favourite food or drink?
Thai food and cheap beer.
And if you were stranded on a desert island with just one game-show host,
who would it be?
If we were stranded on a desert island, we'd probably just want a mirror.
Mere's some toss-up questions* fellas: In one word or less, give us your
immediate thoughts on the following subjects.,,
Tim Yohannon? Punk rocker.
Chuck Norris? Bacardi.
Rowdy Roddy Piper? My dad.
Nancy Reagan? Bondage queen.
Coca-Cola's new formula? Dr. Pepper.
'The Honeymooners"? Sheriff Justice.
Argyle socks? Boston Red Socks.
Apartheid? Fucking racists. Fascist assfucks.
The VMS vs. Beta controversy? Go suck an egg!
Finally, if Barbara Eden reunited with Larry Hagman and granted NO F-X three
wishes, what would they be?
1. Stacks (and MORE stacks!) of Marshalls.
2. Some talent.
3. We want to go back to Kansas.
All the kids
hate me and
their empty chip bags and burning
cigarette butts at me. What
should I do? -Feel Like A Waste
DEAR FEEL LIKE A WASTE RECEPTACLE^
WE CAN'T ALL BE ACCOUNTANTS.
ACCEPT YOUR STATION AND QUIT
SNIVELLING. A LOT OF KIDS DON'T
HAVE ANY KIND OF JOB AT ALL, YOU
MISERABLE LITTLE GEEK. PISS OFF.
Here's hoping for luck
Regarding Dr. David Suzuki's
urges to halt war technology in
last week's Star.
It's a sad, sad fact that Cana-
dians, like lemmings, proceed
avariciously to the precipice of
existence with blinkers intact
If mankind survives the mad-
ness we call nuclear technology, it
will be by sheer luck. Have a nice
Dear Imants, I am sick and tired
of you ghostwriting my "Imants
On Romants" column. Why don't
you get someone to do it properly
...like me? I mean, it doesn't even sound like me talking
when you print the replies to the inane queries that your
perverted readers throw up. -Yours truly, Imants.
DEAR IMANTS. YOU THINK YOU'RE HOT SHIT DON'T YOU? JUST
BECAUSE YOU'RE SCHIZOPHRENIC DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE TOUGH,
SNIVELLING PIECE OF DOG VOMIT. GO EAT A TURDBURGER, YOU
Dateline Toronto: and now
for the bad news!
dead in Toronto.
In fact, it's
been dead for a
while and the smell of rot-
ting flesh is stinking up
the city. The first indica-
tion came a while ago with
the mournful passing of
bands like the One Eyed
Jacks (with Steve Koch
and Chris "Baby Jesus"
Houston), the Hurri-
j| canes, and most
SH^J recently, the Tennesee
Rockets, the stench became somewhat noticeable
when Johnny Oee Fury denounced his old ways
and changed his hairstyle and image to main-
stream. Funeral arrangements were made as the
Bopcats became the Rock Angels and likewise
sold out to a broad-based rock sound. But the
lid was really nailed on the coffin as both
the Paladins and the Renegades grew their hair
long and moved their style of music to a 60 's
style sound. Watch for an announcement of the
funeral service (closed casket, of course).
And while the Sidewinders may also be gone to
their eternal resting place, we may take com-
fort that the lone survivor of these casual-
ties, Handsome Ned, is carrying on. In fact,
go out and buy his new 45! It may not be
rockabilly. but his countrified sounds are the
next best thing. See ya at the Grand Ole
Cameron (Toronto's answer to Nashville)!
Whoops, the Tennesee Rockets just got back
T roFFBB SHOP
osoo **»*« B , UV °- «2i3> 327-H« 3
, DOWN'n'OUT in LEAVENWORTH I
( or Dial 73673«-Q12) ^5HwO»ua^ §
TEN RECORDS I'D LIKE TO HAVE WHILE
SERVING LIFE WITHOUT POSSIBILITY OF PAROLE
1.NEW CHRISTS "LIKE A CURSE" 45
2. THE CURE "PORNOGRAPHY" LP
3. PERSONALITY CRISIS.. "CREATURES FOR AWHILE" LP
4. SOCIAL DISTORTION. "MOMMY'S LITTLE MONSTER" LP
5.HUSKER DU... "ZEN ARCADE" Double LP
6. RUIN "HE-HO" LP
7. SCIENTISTS "BLOOD RED RIVER" EP
8. THE SMITHS "HATEFUL OF HOLLOW" LP
9.R0XY MUSIC... "FOR YOUR PLEASURE" LP
10. KRAUT "WHETTING THE SCYTHE" LP